Saturday, April 22, 2006

Being Lestat

I'ver read Anne Rice's "Interview..." and "Lestat" long before I realized I actually liked these romantic blood-suckers. My better-half drew out of me my interest in them. Like a lot of things I disliked before and now like, vampires for me has become something which I count as how much Mamuy has changed me.



I still remember how I felt after reading Lestat's story, how that brief glimpse in an immortal's life and psyche made me felt somehow -- connected.



I read "Lestat" long ago, yet it's only now that I truly understand what Lestat was griping about when he said that: the world is a savage garden. If I meet Lestat right now, I'd say to him: I feel you man. I understand why you hate God.



I mean for godssakes, he was given a gift/curse (depending on how you view it) which he did not want, and in which he was able to experience what many mortals were unable to experience. To view man's suffering in the flow of time, to be their predator and share their grief, to have lived a millenia and reached a point where he actually longed for death...



Truly who wouldn't cry out to heaven and say: you made the world a savage garden, for what purpose, you unfathomable prick?



Even Anne Rice's discourse on heaven and earth, the angels, and God's reason for creating man, in her other book "Memnoch," made me feel Lestat's pain more. And yet, when given that choice to either side with God or with Satan, Lestat chose God.



And this is how Lestat's savage garden truly comes full circle.



To have lived his life and know eternity and despair, seen in the eyes of an immortal, the view of the world can certainly one that can be called:  a savage garden. A garden where you can see the most beautiful roses, pick one up, and be pricked by its thorns.



It's the paradox of life. Pain makes life bloom unlike any other emotion we can experience.



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To see the world in a grain of sand, and heaven in a wild flower



Fuck fate which isn't in your hand, and curse God and his damn power


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